I have had it.

I am so through with my agency. They want to play GOD. I am not having it

Wow

So 3 weeks have gone by. The baby is so sweet and she is progressing so much. I am amazed. I love her dearly. My case worker called herself playing the devils advocate and asked if I would be changing the babies name if I was to keep her. I don't think so as all the names I have picked out are African American names. I will see.

Two weeks

Wow, 2 more days and I will have had the baby for 2 weeks. I am amazed at how much it has changed my life. She is beautiful. She is a good baby. She does not sleep through the night but she goes right back to sleep. She has already had a couple of firsts. She rolled over 3 times in one day. She has yet to do it again that I know of but she did it 3 times. The little toy that you put on the car seat that makes noise and moves. She actually reached out and touched it and was playing with it. She also is doing much better with tummy time. She loves the swing, loves the little chair that I got that is similiar to the bumbo and has toys around it for her to play with.

The time I used to spend on the internet reading others blogs and searching the available for adoption listings and dreaming of having a child are gone. It is not often that I get to read the blogs of others as I spend my time with the baby or running to bed behind her to get a couple of hours of sleep while she sleeps. She is good about not dirtying laundry but I still have the never ending laundry pile. Just when I think I aught up there is a ton more clothes to wash. Oh well. Such is the life. I would love to be like some other bloggers and have a house full of kids. I would also love to have the ability not to have to work. That is not possible. I like to dress them so cute and spend so much money on them.

She had her first visit on Monday and she has been a bit of a pill since then. She has been un consolable and will cry no matter what. I will talk to her attorney today and will call the worker to share with her as it has been 2 nights that this happend. She was like this the first night I had her but she would sleep on me. This went on for an hour and then when she fell asleep she did not want to be put down. She grabed my chest tightly so that I could not put her down. She is only 3.5 months so I am hoping that this is not due to the visits. I will have to see what happens after the next visit whenever that happens to be. I guess time will tell. I go to court tomorrow and we will see what happens then.

Gotta go she is fussing and need to get her.

New placement 2-22

Yes, I got a call for a baby girl. She is 3 months old. I don't know much and she has not been given a worker as of yet. I am hoping early Monday she will. She was receently in the hospital and I would like to know where and why. I have not had any luck finding that this weekend. The weekend overnight worker did not know anything. She is a good baby she slept all night last night. She doesn't like to eat though. She eats a little at a time. Trying to get her to eat more has proved to be challenging.

He's gone

Wow. It was only a short period. I busted my but and got him things he needed and everything in order.
I got a doctor's appointment even though he just had a physial with his primary care who happend to be the one that I was going to use for my kids.
I got his shot record which was up to date.
I also got a copy of the previous physical.
I got a copy of his birth certificate.
I switched his school information to my name.
I got him in daycare.
I put in the request to change his transportation pickup point.
I got him a couple of outfits and undergarments.
I called the worker to tell her to put in the daycare.

She told me that she was on her way to get him as she is going to move him to his grandma. I am happy that she was able to move him to family but she could have given me some warning.

Placement.

I got my first placement. I wanted girls and preferred African American. I got neither. I got a 4 year old boy. He is the sweetest thing. He was quiet and calm then when the worker left he went crazy. I got him to calm down by asking if he wanted McDonald's. Not very healthy but it worked. I had to pick up some stuff for him. He fell asleep on the couch and when I went to move him to the bed woke up and started crying "I will be good I will be good, I promise. I want to go home." Very sad. I had to lay with him to go to sleep but he has been down for a bit and no sound from the room. Tomorrow I will spend my day running to get everything set for him to stay at the program he is at as the worker thinks this would be safe for him and getting info from the doctor. She is the primary care I was going to use anyways so this will be nice. I need to get a daycare and wait for the emergency evaluation that should come tomorrow. Wow. Excited and don't want to go crazy with the clothes as may go to family if there is any. He had an accident at the office and they gave him a 2t outfit to wear. with a 7-8 shirt. This was weird. He is small but still fits a 4t. Well thought I would share as was so impatient waiting for the call.

My mentee

Ok. Well my mentee, we will call her "T" wants to live with me. This is something that I would be open to exploring. Others may not. We are only like 10 years and 9 months different in age. This should not be a problem as my adoptive parents were only the same age differene. Yes I know teens are not easy and especially foster teens. I wish the caseworker would call me as I would like to know some specifics about previous placements and why she was moved. She won't my worker is not really open to the idea at this time. I am licensed for 0-18 and this should not have happend if they did not want me to take in a teen. They are also the ones that had initially suggested this with the hours that I had at work to get an older teen. I would not be open to a call for a teen right now but if I get to spend time with them and get to know them over a period of time then I would. Well she wants to be with me all the time. She wants me to come to games, and then just hang out with her. I hate watching sports. This is a bore to me. I endured watching boys basketball which she helped keep score with for a little over a month. She loves to be involved. I am all for it. I would go to watch her play but that would not be something I would love to endure if she is not playing. She copied her last report card and gave it to me. She has also gone to her attorney to ask him to help her get placed. I don't see what the major issue is as you can adopt a child as long as you are more than 10 years older than them. Well. I don't know but she spend the entire day with me. She went to church with me. She actually enjoyed it. She had fun with the little kids and was wanting to help with the babies. She is totally great with young children.

Last night I went back to church after taking her home and everyone was kept asking where my daughter was or was that your foster daughter. I had to tell them no, as this is the truth and that I would love that to be the case but the workers are worried about age. Many of them said that they would not see that as an issue and I have a huge support group of people at my church. Another foster parent spoke to her in the morning saying that we were friends and that she would not want her to do anything to hurt me and that I would be there for her and would not hinder her from doing things as I am not that type of person. She told her that I would do good for her and help her to succeed in life. She wanted her to be patient and see what God has in store.

I love my church family. They actually are the only ones that stood by me. My adoptive parents flaked out when I started talking to my birth mom and my birth mom flaked out cause I moved out to live my life. I could not continue to live with someone that wanted to die, was sick and wanted me to tell the doctors to let her die if they had her on life support. I gave her the papers to have filled out and registered but advised that I could not and would not tell them to take her off life support. I would not be able to handle it. She never filled them out. Well, I love them both but right now they are not the ones that should be in my life as they want to pull me down. I forgive them for all that I went through because of them and pray that they are right with God. There are just times you have to move on.

Well.....

It has been a week since my worker came to my home. This is something that I had to have prior to a placement. Still I have not gotten any calls. I am so anxious. I know today is a day when they have a placement meeting where workers are looking for homes for kids that are in care or may come into care. I hope that I get a call today. I am so anxious.

Don't get me wrong I am sad for these kids that they have to endure the trama of abuse and neglect in order for them to come to me. I am happy to be available for them so that they can have a safe loving home environment rather than a shelter or group home living. I just pray that today is the day that at least one child comes into my home. I would love to go shopping and the things that expecting moms do. I just cannot as I have no clue what age or sex of child I will be recieving and cannot shop for the unknown. I think and know this would make the waiting a bit easier. I don't want to go shop for more toys than I have either as don't know the childs interests either. Well. We will see.

I guess I should do some laundry and eat something and just wait patiently. It is so hard not to call my worker as she sounds irritated to hear from me. I know she will call when there is a placement but there is the anxiety of the wait. I am not going to call her if at all possible this week. I know once I get a child I won't bother her until I have an issue with the worker of the child following through on things. I will have to see what happens.

God knows the desires of my heart. He also knows the plan that he has for my life and the children that would be the best with me.

Patience, I don't recall praying for them. I certainly didn't ask for them. Yet I am being taught to have patience and it is driving me insane.

Lord, prepare me for the child or children that you have for me.

Waiting

Just when I thought my waiting was over. Now the wait for a placement. GRRRRRR>

Official

I got my actual license in the mail yesterday. Thank you Jesus. I am in waiting to see when the call will come.

OMG

Finally. I am offiially a licensed foster parent. Yeah! Next week I have a training at work and will have a new schedule as of the following week that meets my ageny standards. Yeah YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to dance for joy.

Don't these two look similiar?

Don't these two look similiar?

My little man

Beauty

OMG

I am a day or so away from my official liscense. I cannot wait!

The next thing that I need to happen is that I need to have my friends kids be able to stay at daycare until 4 so that I can change my hours. I need to be able to change hours to get a placement.

A Call

I got a call this morning. I was totally caught off guard. T called her attorney and tol him to fight to move her here. She asked for him to have an emergency hearing so she could be moved.

DUH---Denied....

I am still waiting on Phoenix to process my amendment and that is not possible. I want to spend more time with her. She has totally lost it. That is not happening. I let my worker know and will be laying low. I have not been able to speak to her worker and I am not positive this is a good option.

Time.

Call me for a younger child and I am game but for this age, not yet. Time it takes time.

A beautiful picture

I want one similiar to this. I want it of a white woman holding a African American baby girl.

A day

Well, T and I spent a few hours together the other day. She is so not emotionally 16years old. I blame this on the system. She is adament that she is not going to try any other foster home as she wants to live with me and does not want to change schools. I don't understand why they would move her from a school she is in the middle of her Junior year at and been there since she was a freshman. They know this. They also know that she is going to blow a placement that wont leave her at that school. Why break something that she is doing well with. She is involved and is getting good grades. I still want to spend time with her and she is so clingy. I care about her and believe if the caseworker would call me and talk to me and we could make arrangements to allow overnights and such that this could be the best place for her. I know I am crazy. She only has a year and a half left of school and she will be on to college. She wants a family to call her own. I want to so talk to her about different things but don't want to give her the false hope of moving here. She said she is going to talk to her attorney and also to her judge. I keep telling her to be patient that she needs to be open to other things but she wants it now. GRRRR. They system failing yet another child.
I even tried to convince her that the people she is meeting could be good people and she should share with them her desire to stay at her school to see if this is an option. She is not having it.

Wow

Well, it is nice to hear things that have been happening with this teen I was interested in. I am not willing to put myself or her at risk if she is not willing to be honest. I have been told some things that have brought up major red flags. She told her worker that she has known me for years. This is so not true. She also has been having unknown men bring her home. These are things that have brought up some major issues that I am not going to put myself at risk for. She wants to do overnights and such but she is already not being honest. They already found another family that they want to place her with. I am not sure that she is going to even try this. I hope that I can talk some sense into her so that she will not sabatoge it wanting to be in my home. This is not what the caseworker is leaning towards at this time. We will see. I hope she makes the right choice for herself. I know that she is scared and I totally hope that what is best for her is what comes about. I hope that if nothing else I am able to share the love of Christ in her life so that she can find some peace. I know that age wise she is 16 but I think at minimum she is 12 years old emotionally and mentally. I am sure that this has to do with being in the system and the abuse and neglect she has endured. I will pray for her and hopefully speak to her so that I can be able to share with her with the things she is going through.

Beauty

Well, still waiting

I am still waiting. I am only waiting on Phoenix to review and approve my amendment for a foster home and not a respite home. Finally. I am so frustrated with having to wait. Grr. Well it is only a matter of time and I will be an official foster home and not a respite foster home. I can't wait.
Well I have been trying to get in touch with the case manager for the teen that I wanted to inquire about for placement. It seems like she is never in the office. I am going to wait and see what my caseworker says tomorrow. She was suppose to try and reach her to get our meeting set up.

Remember Me?

Remember Me

I’m the little girl with the lost eyes. Do you remember me?
I’m the one they gave to you, so you could help me see.
I’m the little girl who had lost all the hope,
Then they gave me to you and you three me a rope.

I’m the little boy, who came frightened in the night.
And they gave me to you and you showed me the light.

I’m the little baby no one could come near,
Then you came along and held me close and took away my fear.

We came to you, all three of us,
Filled with hatred, covered in dust
You wiped our clothes and our tears,
You gave us hugs we hadn’t felt in year.

I’m the teenager no one knew
I’d been beaten down and I crawled to you.
You picked me up, you cleaned my cuts.
You lifted me out of one of life’s biggest ruts.

Why did you do the things that you did?
You didn’t even know me, I wasn’t even your kid
But walking in the grocery store, standing near to you
It still amazes me that no one ever knew.
No one ever knew I wasn’t your kid
Or all of those other great things you did
No one saw the pain you’ve seen
Or knew that when I first met you, I was really mean.
I hated you, I hated the whole planet
I thought it would be better if I just ran it.

I scribbled on your walls in permanent black ink
Just to see if I could push you over the brink.
I’d scream in your face YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!
Just to see if you would blow like a bomb.

Why didn’t you hit me when I kicked, screamed and spat?
I could understand if you wanted to hit me for that.
But you didn’t; you just smiled and stood really still---
Here I thought by now you’d be ready to kill.
Although I was surprised by this, I stopped trying to make you mad
And it really started hurting me to see I’d made you sad.

I’m the little girl who saw life today,
Not as something horrible, but in a different way
You showed me these things, you gave me hope
Remember in the beginning when you threw me that rope?

I’m the little boy who was scared in the night
Remember me, you showed me the light

Remember that baby no one could come near
Well, I’m grown up now, and I graduate in a year.

Remember me and my two little brothers, it was just me and them and no others
Well today I’m getting married to a nice man named Kyle,
And holding on to your arm as you walk me down the aisle.
It doesn’t seem like much to most,
But to my new parents, I’d like to make a toast.
For everthing you’ve helped me see and for everything you’ve done for me
For all those night you stayed up worrying and wondering where I could possibly be
But most of all I’d like to say thanks from all the other foster kids and me,
For keeping our spirits high and being the Moms and Dads that you didn’t have to be.

I’m the little kid who came on a blizzard day
No shoes, no coat and no one to show me the way
You opened your home and called me your own
And I remember that ‘til this very day

- Karin Clint

Wow. Patience is paying off

I finally am able to see that as of Monday my stuff should officially be sent to Phoenix. They said it has been taking 2 weeks and 3 weeks has been the max for them to approve ammendments. Now I just need to pray that the kids will be able to stay at the daycare later as I need to change my hours. I am actually looking forward to being able to sleep in some.
I am also hoping to meet with the caseworker of the girl I met to see about spending time with her and being able to have visits so that I can see if taking her would be the best thing to agree to. Because she is older I am a bit leary but will have to give her a chance. I forsee that she will be a good girl and would not be any problems but I have to think of the younger children that I always have around.

Updates should be following promptly.

Possible newborn

Wow, I guess I am on a possible placement role. There is another child that is on the way from a family that I am close with. I might as well be family. We spend a lot of time together. I have the kids from the family a lot. They said they are at their max with their placement and would not be able to take the newborn. They want me to take the baby once it comes into care. We have no clue how far along she is but the last baby is 9 months old already. She was pregnant with him when the 2 year old was only 6 months old. She also stopped coming to the visits right before severance and the last visit I saw her at she was looking pudgy in her stomach. I am praying that the baby will be protected as she was not clean and since the others are severed the only way that this will come into care right away is if she tests positive during pregnancy and the doctor reports it or the baby is born positive. CPS is not in her life now as she was severed in January. She was not happy and did not even come to the hearing she walked out of the mediation that she insisted on having and didn't even want to stay for. She made some poor choices and is very young. She could get her life together if she wanted but she does not have a good support system. I wish I could reach out to her but for the safety of her other three I cannot. I have them a lot. I also try to stay away from her side of town when I have the kids. I do not want to give her a chance to do anything crazy. Being in her state of mind she could do just about anything. I pray for her daily. I also pray for any unborn children.

Ohhh and another person approached me

I have a friend that works in a group home here in Tucson. She was telling me about a 5 year old AA girl that she wants me to take. She knows my heart for AA children. She said she has 5 siblings. There is a relative that has 3 of the children and the other 2 do not get along and they cannot handle them. They are doing well in the group home. They definately don't get along with each other. They need more one on one interactions. Well we will see. I am believing that this could be interesting. I have been approached about 2 specific children already.

Time is ticking....

Well the amendment has still not moved. I am still waiting. I am going to be very upset if it is not in as of yesterday. The fact that it has not been entered yet and should have gone through in December is very aggravating. I know that God has a plan. I know that God is going to allow it to happen at the right time but I do not want to continue to have patience as it is not just a point of being patient any longer. Now I am beginning to not have the desire to be patient. The agency seems to not care that I am getting frustrated but they do not like it when I tell them that they have frustrated me when they say that they want to make me frustrated. They say one thing and then change it. There is a communication breakdown between us.

My potential placement is wanting to know what is up. She said that she is thinking about going out for track that starts on the 4Th of February. This means that we would need to have the meeting on Friday at the end of this month or squeeze in a meeting between meets and practices. I guess we will see. What would I be getting myself into if they place her. She loves to be involved in sports. She plans on working for the summer and will stay busy that way. I am excited for her either way. T is a very active child that is not letting her past and her present get to her. She is going to be great at contributing to a family. I would feel blessed to call her mine. This would be even if I get crazy looks from people. I do know that some people may not like the idea of me taking on a teen but we will see what GOD has in store for us. My heart goes out to her and I have a peace about the situation. God will allow his will to be done. I am just going to wait and see.

Frustration and more waiting

Well, my amendment still has not been officially sent. I am wondering if they are holding back since they think that I am going to change agencies? Grrrrr. I have another friend who told me about an AA young girl that she feels would be great with me. I am waiting and waiting. My hours at work are on hold for a change and I will take it off hold as soon as I am approved so that they can place with me. The young teen and I will meet with my worker and hers at the beginning of February. I am hoping that we can spend some time together and get to know each other to ensure that it would be a good fit for her to live here. I would hate for her to get all excited and then it not work out. I think that we would do just fine but we will need to convince my worker of that. My worker I feel gave her worker the doubt. Grr. She doesn't even know me. This system is in need of some major repairs. How can you beg and plead for new homes yet you are holding back one that is highly qualified? Patience. I am not in need of patience.

Well, I met her

She is beautiful. She loves children. She is longing to be part of a family. T is a junior so she has the only 1 year and a half left of school. She is very energetic and gave me her caseworker's number and her group home number. She thought that they would let her speak to me. They wanted me to be on her call list but did allow us to talk a few minutes. I called the caseworker this morning and left a message. I am hoping to be able to speak to her today. I would like for them to allow us to talk and to allow her to come over and stay on the weekend. I want to do some transition visits prior to my schedule change and my license being amended from respite to foster. I am hoping that this will happen.

This is definitely a situation that I have prayed about and am continuing to pray about. Well despite the fact that I want younger children I have a strong pull to her. I will continue to follow through with ensuring this is going to be best for her and myself prior to accepting the placement. This placement could happen almost right after I get my amendment approved or shortly thereafter. We will see. I am not sure what other people might think but I would like to believe that they will trust that I have prayed and that God is leading me this way.

Tomorrow is the day

OK, I will get to meet the child that I was asked if I would consider adopting tomorrow. This should prove to be really interesting. I am so excited. I have no clue what to do or what to say. I just know that God is going to help me to know what to say.
All in God's timing things will work out. The other kids that I am helping with will be able to stay longer at daycare soon. I am just hoping that the timing is perfect. I cannot tell a person that I am not going to help them after I agreed. I know that my amendment will go in tomorrow Lord wiling. My worker said she should have it done tomorrow
Hmmmm. Is the Lord trying to teach me patience? Cause I don't wanna learn them. My agency is requiring that I not work as early as I do. They do not want the kids up before 6am. GRRRR I shall spend most of my day at work then and this will cause me to not be able to spend as much time with them. Oh well. We will see.
I am hoping to go to New Jersey in April. I am also hoping that I can take my foster child with me when I go. I think that should not be an issue as they don't have visits and such. I wonder what she would think about that. I am sure that she would enjoy staying in the hotel and being able to travel. Well if I have anything that I can share I will do so tomorrow.

Happy Delurking day.

OK. Today was the day for lurkers to delurk. Did you?

Grrrrrr

I so wish things could happen quicker. I would love to meet this young teen girl and see if she would feel comfortable living in a home with other children. I think that she would enjoy being around myself and the kids. I will have to wait to see what God has instore for me. I just wish that things would go faster.

Hmmmmm....

Would I ever consider adopting a 16 year old child? Yes I would. I would want to spend time with them prior to them moving in with me. I would want them to have a nice transition from the group home that they are at. I am interested in younger children but I would definately think of an older child. They would have to spend time with me around other children as well so that I could be sure that they would not have issues with younger children and I would be willing to take them.

Some may disagree.

You Were An Angel This Year

You Were 5% Naughty, 95% Nice You know you've been a super good girl this year So good, that you may have missed out a little... Don't worry, Santa will make it up to you!

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?

Yes another Truth

You Are Not Prejudiced

Not only are you color blind, but you're also ethnicity blind, gender blind, and sexual orientation blind. You don't judge someone until you truly know them. And even then, you're probably reluctant to judge. You try to treat everyone equally. Everyone has a fair chance with you. Good job - there's not a prejudiced bone in your body.

Are You Prejudiced?

So True

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappointment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

This is a relief

Your Birthdate: December 18

For you, love is a feeling that lingers for really long time - even after a relationship is totally over. In fact, you still make have strong feelings for the first person you fell in love with. You usually are reluctant to end relationships. And sometimes you're the last to know that things are ending! Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1 You are most compatible with people born on the 9th, 18th, and 27th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

This is right on.

Your Birthdate: December 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause. You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too. Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others. You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress. Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities Your power color: Crimson red Your power symbol: Snowflake Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Hmmmm. Can this be true

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

This is absolutely funny

You Should Be With an Air Sign!

Your best match is a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius Why? You crave excitement and playful banter Only an Air Sign can match your wit - and keep you on your toes As for fun, an Air Sign guy will show you plenty, with tons of surprises Just be sure to introduce him to some new playful experiences as well!

What Sign Guy Should You Date?

Not the type of worldly you would think of

You Are Not Very Worldly...Yet

You haven't really traveled the world yet, but you'll get around to it someday. In the meantime, it couldn't hurt to broaden your perspective a little. Try a new type of foreign food or pick up a foreign movie to watch. You can become more worldly without a passport!

How Worldly Are You?

Can this be true?

You Are Pretty Happy Being Single

You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content. Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while. But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You're life is too good to settle for anything!

Are You Happy Being Single?

Yuck

You Are Coffee Ice Cream

Energetic and lively, you are always on the go. You're doing a million things at once and doing them well. You tend to motivate others and raise spirits. You are most compatible with chocolate ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

A bit about me

1. WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER?
I was not named after anyone particular. I do sometimes wish I had not allowed my adoptive parents to change my name. Brooklyn was just what they wanted to name their first daughter. I was not happy about my old name and where I came from so I let them change it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cried on Friday. I seem to cry when I am very upset and do not want to go off on someone.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No way. I wish it looked so much different.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
Yeah sometimes. I have a shirt that says Sarcasm, just one more service I offer.

6. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope. They have been gone for years.

7. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No, think I would have a heart attack..

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cookie Crisp

9. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yeah right. that would take to much time.

10. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Strong yeah just not physically. I am emotionally strong. I am also spiritually strong. I have been through so much that I have become strong.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM ?
Chocolate

12. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their face and the physical characteristics.

13. RED OR PINK?
Red

14.WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?
My body.

15. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I miss my daddy. He died when I was 3. I have never really had anyone in my life that ever was able to fulfill that fatherly role. Maybe this is why I look at older men.

16. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm not wearing shoes and I have a skirt on it is black.

17. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Carne Asada burrito and chips at Little Mexico.

18.. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Nothing.

19. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I would be purple as it is the color of royalty.

20. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The smell of a baby that has been freshly bathed with baby lotion on.

21. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Tamela

22. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
No one actually sent this to me. I found it on another blog.

23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
None.

24. HAIR COLOR?
Dark Brown with blond streak in the back. Guess that is my birth mark. And some strands of silver hair. Yeah I know I am young but they are there.

25. EYE COLOR?
hazel

26. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

27. FAVORITE FOOD?
Steak

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
A Christmas movie that was sad and hilarious at the same time. I can't remember the name though.

30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Cream with stripes.

31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Anything but summer and freezing winters.

33. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs. I can give so much to a person through a hug.

34. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Apple pie with vanilla ice cream

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The bible.

37. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I have a laptop. I don't have a mouse pad.

38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Nothing. I slept since I wasn't feeling well and surfed the net.

39. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of a sleeping baby or a newborn and their faint cry.

40. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Nether. I guess I am to young.

41. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
North Carolina, Maryland, NewYork, NewJersey. I think those are the furthest as of now. I do want to go to Zimbabwe one day.

42. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Sure if you count being able to do African American hair one.

43. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Davis Monthan Air Force Base in good old Tucson AZ

The decision

Well, after their irritating comment that it is in the best interest of the children not to place a child with me while I have the early hours at work that I do I am still upset, frustrated, torn and really really hurt. I love this agency. They placed me when I was a child into a foster family and they were the ones that my adoption went through. I am torn as I want to stay with them. I am actually really thinking about just changing my hours so that they will place. I am just praying that an opening at the center my friends grand children are at that I pick up will come so that they can stay till a little later. I really wish that would happen.

They called and they decided to put in the amendment for me to be able to foster. Thank you. That means that I have to wait for that to be approved. Maybe by that time the kids can stay later and I can change my hours. I am hoping that they might be open to me working 6-230 even though the kids would have to get up before 6 it would not be as bad as getting up at 3. They feel that this would be traumatizing to the kids. I agree if the child was taken in the middle of the night but they don't have to place one of those children with me. Getting up at 5 would not be that bad and many of the homes they would go back to would have to be up early as they would need to work and catch buses. Either way at least they are putting the amendment in and I can just pray that the kids can stay at daycare a bit later.

The NERVE of them.

I cannot believe that my agency has the nerve to tell me that I have to change my work hours to get a placement. They would rather the kids be in daycare all day than have to go to daycare early in the morning and then be picked up right after lunch time. GRRRRR> I am so irritate. What happend to needing homes so bad and these kids are in group homes and in institutional type settings. I will have to switch to an agency that does not have this issue. I already talked to several and they agree with me.

I can't change my hours since I am helping another grandmother who has kinship placement and the kids have to be picked up by 2. I have to be able to get them as she is at work. The daycare may be able to keep them later in a few months but I am being punished for helping someone else so now I can't get a placement. GRRRR> There is a child that is available for placement that I am interested in and they didn't even send my homestudy to them as I asked them to do.

These children are suffering and all they can say is it is in the best interest of the children.