Well.....

It has been a week since my worker came to my home. This is something that I had to have prior to a placement. Still I have not gotten any calls. I am so anxious. I know today is a day when they have a placement meeting where workers are looking for homes for kids that are in care or may come into care. I hope that I get a call today. I am so anxious.

Don't get me wrong I am sad for these kids that they have to endure the trama of abuse and neglect in order for them to come to me. I am happy to be available for them so that they can have a safe loving home environment rather than a shelter or group home living. I just pray that today is the day that at least one child comes into my home. I would love to go shopping and the things that expecting moms do. I just cannot as I have no clue what age or sex of child I will be recieving and cannot shop for the unknown. I think and know this would make the waiting a bit easier. I don't want to go shop for more toys than I have either as don't know the childs interests either. Well. We will see.

I guess I should do some laundry and eat something and just wait patiently. It is so hard not to call my worker as she sounds irritated to hear from me. I know she will call when there is a placement but there is the anxiety of the wait. I am not going to call her if at all possible this week. I know once I get a child I won't bother her until I have an issue with the worker of the child following through on things. I will have to see what happens.

God knows the desires of my heart. He also knows the plan that he has for my life and the children that would be the best with me.

Patience, I don't recall praying for them. I certainly didn't ask for them. Yet I am being taught to have patience and it is driving me insane.

Lord, prepare me for the child or children that you have for me.